I-m-possible

I fear to talk
For I may not be listened to
But I will express my thoughts
For there must be someone who would

I fear to try
For I may not succeed
But I will never cease to toil
For I will win one day

I fear to dream
For it may not be true
But I will lose myself to it
For I still have hope

No matter how impossible it may seem
I will talk, try and dream
And strive for what I desire
For I will reach there one day

Silent smiles

Over the distant hill hovered patches of white clouds
Like huge pieces of cotton embedded in the canvas of the sky
The earth seemed young, pretty and excited like a teenage girl
And the clouds though majestic and much sought after, were still humble!

Far removed from the earth, the clouds frowned
Their inability to be with her, made them sad
They told the earth about their helplessness that made heir hearts weep
But she smiled back!

They flew over and glanced at her from the top
Felt her presence but not the softness of her touch
Sad with a sullen face, they looked towards the earth
But she smiled back!

Cursed the air which connected them to their love
Thought invisible to the eye it could be so close to her
Angered at such a thought, they turned grey-black
But the earth smiled still!

The clouds looked confused
Wondered and pondered if she loved them as much
The earth said that she lived for them
And held their tears in her heart when they cried!

A bee and his rose

It was a long day. The sun shone brightly high above and the wind blew silently from the west. A bee hovered from flower to flower in the scorching heat. The queen had strict orders. They had to be followed. He could not escape work. He could not rest for that would deteriorate his reputation as the best worker among the swarm of bees in his hive.

As he flew over a large garden, he saw a lot of flowers - yellow, green, red, blue. All kinds! They were under a large banyan tree and were happily swaying in the cool breeze. This garden was known to him. He had been there many times. The flowers here were kind and friendly. They sometimes, offered him a place to sit and relax before he flew back.

But the garden was not the same, today. He noticed a little flower in the corner. A bright little rose - a white one! She was shy and looked down. She was one among the rest, but seemed different. He had not seen her before. Perhaps, she was a new member to the family of flowers. The bee stopped for a moment. He decided to go over and meet her. She turned out to be a very friendly little flower. She welcomed the bee heartily and asked about him. The bee felt very happy at her response. His heart felt glad to have met her. They exchanged their joys and shared their sorrows. In a short time, they became good friends. Now, it was time for the bee to return. He bid his new friend good-bye, and promised to return the next day.

The bee thought about her all the way while he flew back. He could not forget the way she smiled. It was so different, he pondered. It made him feel cared for. It made him feel special. He loved the way she treated him. He could not wait for the next day to meet her. He flew back again to the garden! To his surprise, he found the little rose was waiting for him. She was happy to see him back and smiled. The bee smiled back. The little flower had taught him how to smile! He finally bid good-bye and returned to his hive.

He was the happiest one among the lot, that night. Pretty excited, he left for his rose early next day. The scorching heat mattered no more! All he cared for was to meet his new friend, the little rose. As he reached the garden, he went straight to her. The little flower looked bigger! As he wondered, what made her grow so much in one night, the rose replied that it’s their friendship. The bee was elated and smiled in silence. The rose understood his smile. They smiled together. They talked for hours again, till the rose said it was time and he should leave to cater to his duties. The bee was not sad, for he knew his rose was right!

The bee and the rose became the best of friends. The bee flew everyday to the rose and always found her waiting for him!

The Big Picture

Have you ever lied down and cried all night? I have. The reasons have to be strong enough for such an emotional outburst. They were. How do I convey you what I felt, for I have no words that could possibly even come close to describe the feeling. The closest I can go is an unknown dark tunnel, probably indicative of suffocation or shrill cacophonous noise, probably of despair or may be it was like a stench, probably of the dark abyss I had fallen into!

Have you ever closed your eyes and smiled in silence? I have. Many a times, in fact. The reasons vary, but the feeling never changes. Words would fall short and I would run out of adjectives if I attempt to pen down what exactly is the feeling. Should I try, I might put it down as a streak of bright light, probably of hope or melodious tunes flowing from far across, probably of rejoice or perhaps a sweet fragrance that fills up the entire space around me, probably of the fresh new opportunities !

Isn’t it weird that there is always a cycle of sorrow and happiness that goes round and round? Strange are the ways life trades with us. What seems bizarre is probably a self-conciliatory mechanism in place. Someone up there perhaps takes care of us really. Whatever it is, it is not that easy to understand the larger scheme of things of the almighty!

My tryst with the Indian Institute of Technlogy : Chapter 1

IIT JEE Mains Examination 2004

I was one of the several thousands of dreamy young students appearing for the IIT JEE Mains Examination 2004. Having cleared the IIT JEE Screening Examination 2004 was an achievement in itself. To be a part of those few thousands eligible to appear the Mains was a matter of great pride. Nervousness as well! I had no apparent expectations but yes within, there was a desire to be a part of the elite group of institutions – the top most engineering schools of India, the most revered of the Indian institutions world wide – The Indian Institutes of Technology, better known by their acronym IITs. Why? Well, probably a matter of prestige more than anything else.

Mains Paper 1: Chemistry

Chemistry was never my stronghold. I was however, more comfortable with organic chemistry than physical chemistry. Inorganic was kind of okay! The paper was not as difficult as it was hyped to be. Or perhaps we were lucky! I did quite a few sums, and was fairly satisfied at the end of the two hours.

Mains Paper 2: Physics

I loved Physics. It was a subject that provided a chance to learn about the science behind real life observations. Physics paper was a cakewalk! Pretty easy, by IIT standards. I attempted most of the sums. Problems were simple, but very fundamental by nature. I loved the questions! Oh I wish I hadn’t made some (read quite a few) stupid calculation errors, which I realized later only when I checked my solutions on the FIITJEE site!

Mains Paper 3: Mathematics

The Mains paper was passing by like a dream. Two papers down and I was so satisfied with my performance! I was wondering, what the questions would be like in the Mathematics paper. The Mathematics paper opened my eyes. For the first few minutes, all I could do is turn the pages of the question booklet over and over again in search of a suitable problem to lay my hands on. Even the 2 marks questions were monstrous! As time passed by my search continued, solving a problem here and there. I could just attempt 22 marks out of 60.

My tryst with the Indian Institute of Technology : Chapter 2

Counseling session at IIT Kharagpur

What followed next is the anxious wait for the results. They were due sometime in June. I woke up early that morning to find out the results from the IIT website. As expected, the lines were all choked and it took quite some time to know if I had cracked the IIT JEE 2004. Those were nerve-racking moments, not only for me but for my whole family as well. My mother was perhaps praying to God. My brother was at the computer, checking out my results, murmuring consoling words to ease out my tension that had apparently stressed me out by that time. Just then, the screen flashed.

You have qualified IIT JEE Mains 2004 as a GE Candidate

Your All India Rank is 2749

I wasn’t so happy with the number, yet I was very relieved to realize I had qualified what is touted as one of the most difficult examinations in the world. My family was ecstatic. I had an impression that such an All India Rank (AIR) would not be of much use. I called up and informed my tutors. However, they told me that I could get some decent enough engineering branch. Words of encouragement, Words of hope!

I later got to know that I had scored 20 in Chemistry, 41 in Physics and 17 in Mathematics. Damn FITTJEE! Their solutions suggested that I would score 32 on Chemistry with an AIR of less than 1000. A difference of 12 marks is HUGE indeed.

I received the call letter for the counseling soon. In the few days time that I had, rounds of consultation with people with any relations with the IITs continued. I finally rounded off my choices to few branches close to my AIR. I wanted to go for a B.Tech course rather than an integrated M.Sc course, most of which were easily available with my AIR. My preference was of course IIT Kharagpur, the oldest of all IITs and the closest to my hometown – just 5 hours away!

At the counseling session at IIT Kharagpur, as I entered the main gate of the academic block, I saw the huge main building with the words

INDIAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY

Dedicated to the service of the nation

The colossal structure awed me as much as these words which instilled a sense of pride. I wanted to be a part of it!

The counseling session finished off, with me offering my list of choices. I had given 24 options. I was sure to get only one, the rest just to fill up the page. After few days, I received the confirmation from IIT Kharagpur.

Based on your AIR and the choices during the counseling session you have been offered admission in to the B.Tech Course in Mining Engineering at IIT Kharagpur.

My tryst with the Indian Institute of Technology : Chapter 3

First year at IIT Kharagpur

The first year at IIT has a common syllabus irrespective of the admitted course of study. It would be dishonest to say that I was sure to do well. I knew I was among the lower ranked students at IIT Kharagpur. I definitely had apprehensions regarding my performance while I studied and competed with bright students from all over India There was this system at IITs, by which a student was allowed to change his course of study at the end of the first year, popularly known as depC (department change). But that required obtaining a minimum Cumulative Grade Point Average (CGPA). For students admitted to the B.Tech course, it was 8.25/10.00.

I didn’t aim for a depC. But I did aim to do well in my exams.

I attended classes regularly, was among the first few benchers, took down notes, completed assignments on time, and was pretty satisfied with how things were going. In the meantime, I had made some friends. My first friends at the Indian Institute of Technology were my wing-mates at the hostel or hall of residence, as they were called – Tapas, Someshwar, Aakash, Karan, Sharma, Silver and Suvrat.

My mid semester results were good. That motivated me to study harder and score as much as I could. I realized later that I was pretty stupid to believe that involvement in extra-curricular activities would hamper my studies. Another wrong notion was that getting a computer would kill all my time, leaving nothing for studies. One can always find time to get involved in all sorts of activities, yet maintain a good academic record. The first semester went off well and I managed 8.71/10.00. Pretty good score, indeed. I found that I had scored ahead of many students with better AIRs than me. That was a confidence booster, for sure! It also made me realize that the AIR was nothing but just a reflection of one’s performance on that fateful IIT JEE Mains day. Was it really? Well, ok it was perhaps.

The second semester consisted of some dreaded subjects like Electrical Technology and Chemistry. Chemistry, because it was a low scoring subject. Not to mention Engineering Drawing which was our first exposure to core engineering. I kind of liked it. Perhaps, engineering was my cup of tea. The second semester witnessed the purchase of quite a few computers in the wing – 4 to be precise. Well then, the rounds of movies and games started. I was not too keen on computer games, but yes movies! I started to bunk few classes-not entirely because I was not interested, but they were really boring! Things were getting loose. Mid semester results were kind of okay and I needed to do well, to have a good CGPA. The chance of a good depC had started to play on my mind. I would calculate the grade point required to have a decent CGPA at the end of first year, on many occasions.

With 5 days to the end semester examinations, I contracted Chicken Pox, perhaps from Tapas who had just been cured of it. I had to be admitted in the hospital, within our campus. My parents were very worried, especially my mother. My father rushed in overnight to see me. He lived there for a couple of days. Since it was a contagious disease, I was to be kept isolated in the hospital. So, I had no alternative but to study there and appear for my exams from the hospital bed. Tapas brought me books and notes. Thank God, IIT has this system to allow hospitalized students to appear for the examinations. Else I would have been doomed for sure! I managed to score a modest 8.16/10.00. My final CGPA was 8.45 and I was very much eligible for a depC. I filled out the forms giving my choices, starting off with the impossible Computer Science and Engineering.

My tryst with the Indian Institute of Technology : Chapter 4

Second year at IIT Kharagpur

Summer of 2005 brought in better news. I had been allowed to change my course of study from Mining Engineering, the job prospects for which looked really gloom, to Manufacturing Science and Engineering - far better off. I was pretty satisfied and my family was elated, for I was in the top 79 students at IIT.

Yes, there is another interesting thing about IIT Kharagpur. The first year students are kept segregated from the seniors in separate hostels. And so, the ragging (oops “Orientation Program”, popularly known as OP) took place in the second year when the students moved into senior hostels. I was allotted Nehru Hall of Residence, in the dreaded PAN loop (Patel, Azad, and Nehru – these 3 hostels made up the PAN loop).

There was this widespread phobia called the “loop drop” among those who were allotted hostels in the PAN loop. It was believed that most students experienced a drop in the grade point average by 1 in the autumn semester. I wondered about the possible reason, till I found it! The first month went off pretty fast due to the OP. What followed next were the preparations for the illumination and rangoli competition and various inter hall competitions that constituted the General Championships or better known as the GCs. There were 4 in all - GC Soc n Cult, GC Sports, GC Tech and GC Hall Affairs - which were all fiercely contested. Nehru hall was known for being a champion when it came to soc n cult events. So, it was not unbelievable to see the extra effort being put up in each of the competition. Late night dramatics practice or overnight preparations for illumination can be demanding! This was possibly one reason for “loop drop”. However, as I mentioned already, at IIT one can every well manage one’s time to be involved in various activities and yet maintain a good academic record. But then again, that is a personal choice or rather should be a personal choice. And rather unfortunately, the junior most members of the hall, the second years never had that luxury!

I was perhaps not prepared to manage both my studies and participate in these activities. Though I didn’t have a choice, I managed to escape few dramatics practice. But I never bunked the preparations for illumination. Though on most occasions we had to stay up entire night binding diyas along certain patterns on chatais, I kind of liked it. One, because it was a great chance to interact with people, batch mates and seniors. Second, I was the photography secretary and was in charge of clicking photographs of various events in the hall. Though, many people blame illumination as the prime cause of the “loop drop”, I beg to differ! I scored 8.59/10.00 in that semester. Perhaps, the third semester was an easy one for Manufacturing Science and Engineering students, with effectively 3 subjects.

The fourth semester came as a blow with 6 subjects, most of them on the tough side of the scale. Subjects like Probability and Statistics, Engineering Thermodynamics terrorized us. Then, there was this breadth subject ‘Resistance and Propulsion’ that I had opted for in the Department of Ocean Engineering and Naval Architecture. Little did I know that this one would turn out to be a savior. I had always aimed to keep my semester grade points above 8. However, performances in other subjects were not that good and I was looking at a possible 7 point something in the semester when an “Ex” in the breadth subject pushed me just above 8. I scored 8.17, which was surprisingly the highest score among us. At the end of the second year, I was the topper of my branch with a CGPA of 8.40/10.00

The second year marked a significant change in attitude with respect to attending classes. I attended most classes of few subjects, where attendance played a great role in the Teacher’s Assessment. Except for that, it was almost curtains to attending classes. I had found the comfortable option of relying on Dheeraj Baid’s notes. Yes, Baid was my wingie! Luckily, he was not as insincere as me. He attended all classes and woke me up for the ones I did. Ah yes, I had also lost my cycle (thanks to a senior!) and so was dependent on him for going to classes literally.

I made some friends, essentially those in my wing, but there was not much of an interaction, to be honest. The kind of fun that I was about to experience in the next two years of my life was missing now. We had to form new wings for our next two years. We were 7 of us from the old second year wing and were joined by 6 more.

My tryst with the Indian Institute of Technology : Chapter 5

Third year at IIT Kharagpur

The 13 of us were allotted the DTW (D block, Top floor, West side) wing. Slowly and steadily, we began to gel. The foundation for a great bonding was being laid! It was an important year with respect to academics as well. It was the best year to improve the CGPA! We were seniors now, and no one could force us to work for the hall. It was a matter of personal choice now. Time was ripe to apply for internships abroad (popularly known as FT or foreign training) as well as take up projects that could possibly help one while applying for higher studies the following year.

Prof. ABC was a great teacher no doubt. He made a boring topic quite interesting. His course Machine Tools and Machining caught my attention and I decided to do some project work on that topic. He was glad to assign me an experimental work along with a final year student. I was glad as it would improve my CV. Besides, I had taken this course “Soft Computing Tools in Engineering” which involved some group project as well. We developed a software that could read the lines of one’s palm and then predict his personality traits by using the rules of Palmistry.

In the meantime, the fight for obtaining a FT abroad continued. After mailing about 600 Professors around the globe, I got lucky. Yes, getting a FT is more about perseverance than qualification! 1000$/month as stipend and 1500$ for airfare was what the Professor offered for a period of 10 weeks during May-July 2007. I saw this as a great opportunity and was upbeat at the idea of going to Canada.

The third year also saw me getting addicted to one social networking site – Orkut. I don’t know, what I did all day long, but the Mozilla browser always showed my Orkut homepage. Add to that, 24*7 on Gtalk and you will find me very busy! I liked making random friends and spend hours chatting with them. But contrary to my earlier held notion, it did not affect my studies. I scored 8.82/10.00 in my 5^th semester exams.

We had a mini-project in the 6^th semester, for which I decided to choose another Professor and topic. I could have showed my work under Prof ABC as my mini-project, but I needed 3 Professors who would recommend me while I applied for higher studies. I asked for an experimental work from Prof. ARC as my mini-project. The project was decided and we started work. I spend hours in the laboratory setting up the apparatus and conducting the experiments. Simultaneously, I was also involved in Prof ABC’s project. It was a real busy semester for me. But, I enjoyed it, for I knew if I work sincerely, it will definitely pay off someday.

By now, I had got the formula of doing well in the semester exams.

• Appear all Class Tests
• Maintain an okay attendance, unless the Professor is very strict on attendance.
• Get the class notes from the sincere guys of class
• Start studying from the weekend before the exam week and during those days, study and only study.
• First finish off the easy topics.
• Leave the topics that took much time to understand, to be tackled at the last.
• Yes, attempt to cover all topics, even that means giving a little extra effort.

And voila! The 6^th semester results were decent enough and at the end of the third year, I was the topper of Manufacturing Science and Engineering branch with a CGPA of 8.48/10.00.

In the meantime, I got my Visa done and my tickets booked. I was all set for a wonderful summer abroad, on my maiden trip outside India. Summer of 2007 was like a dream come true - living off all alone by myself in an alien land, spending the money I earned, being responsible for myself. It taught me many things. I did my project work sincerely and the Professor was very pleased with my performance. In the period of 10 weeks, I completed the project and we were successful in having two research publications. He offered me to do masters under him, which I didn’t reject out rightly. The Professor was brilliant but the university was not a very good one and I was sure that I would get admission into one of the top universities in the world. It was time to get back to India. And I was glad to return back!

My tryst with the Indian Institute of Technology : Chapter 6

Final year at IIT Kharagpur

Now it was time for the all important final year - the 7^th semester being the more significant of the two. It was the time to appear GRE, apply for jobs, apply to universities for higher studies and appear CAT. I was inclined for a MS abroad rather than pursuing a MBA in IIMs. So, I chose to appear for GRE.

I booked a date for both GRE and TOEFL, the standard tests required for admission into the graduate schools at any US university. I scheduled my TOEFL on Oct 5 and GRE on Oct 11 and started my preparation. The mid semester exams in between caused a break in my preparation and by the last week of September, I was sure I would not be able to appear for TOEFL on the scheduled date. Not because, TOEFL was tough, but rather I would waste my time if I went to Kolkata to appear for it. TOEFL in fact is an easy but a very boring and long test. I rescheduled TOEFL to Oct 21 and preparations for the GRE continued. I fared very badly in my GRE. I ran out of time in the verbal section and that was disaster. My score 1180/1600 with 380/800 in the verbal section was a pathetic one! I was very sad, as the prospects of getting admitted to a good university seemed doomed. I was not sure if I should appear the GRE again. In the meantime, Oct 21 came by and I appeared the TOEFL. After that, I decided to appear for the GRE again and booked Nov 1 as my test date. I had prepared well earlier too, so didn’t have much to prepare. I just revised the Barron’s word lists and practiced some RC (Reading Comprehension) questions as they were the killers of time. This time I scored 1470. I was elated as my dreams of a MS abroad seemed to become a reality.

Then it was time for the end semesters and the more important campus placements. I had decided to appear for core companies only and not in financial or software ones. During the semester, I had attended quite a few PPTs (Pre-placement talks) by various companies which helped me narrow down my choice. On the first day, I was short listed in ITC and Schlumberger RDM. I hoped I get selected in one of them. As expected the day was a grueling one, running from one place to other - appearing for the group activity and presentation in Schlumberger, followed by the GD in ITC, followed by the interview in Schlumberger. I wasn’t selected for the interview round in ITC. According to the new rules of the Training and Placement section, the results of all companies were to be declared at a time after all interviews of the day were over. I came back to my room and waited for the results. It is such an unpredictable matter that I hardly was confident. My mind hovered around to the next companies in line. My next possible company was 3M India on the 6^th of December. My brother was calling me up every hour, asking me the results. That was making me more nervous. After dinner, me and some of my friends sat down to watch the comedy scenes of Om Shanti Om. I was tensed enough not to be amused by SRK antics. It was around 10-11 pm when Babba called up saying that I had been selected in Schlumberger RDM! I was highly elated and so were my friends. The GPL ritual followed immediately. I called up my parents and brother and informed them. They were ecstatic at the news. I wanted to see my name on the list and confirm it. I went along with Karmu to the TnP section and looked at the notice board. There it was!

Surya Mishra – 04MF1018- Post: Manufacturing Engineer

I was the only one from the wing to have been selected for a job that day. Though I was happy for myself, I was sad about the others. As days passed, the others also got selected one by one. In the meantime results were out and I had scored the first 9 pointer of my life. I was not too keen on the results, as it had practically no significant as the CGPA considered by companies as well as the universities was till the 6^th semester. With a 9.26 in the 7^th semester, my CGPA raced to 8.59/10.00. What followed next was applying for higher studies in universities abroad. The job profile at Schlumberger appeared brilliant and the remuneration was handsome! That led me to decide to apply to only 3 universities from the original 10 that I had short listed – MIT, UIUC and Purdue.

The last semester was a lazy one. There was nothing much to do, except waiting for the results from the universities. There was hardly any interest in attending classes and the attitude was too casual. I guess it was natural. I coined a term for the state which we were in –The Last Semester Syndrome. It became quite popular :P, thanx to Gtalk . Even Dheeraj Baid, hardly attended classes. There was no interest in doing the project work. Only wish was to be in the room and relax J .

The results started to come. MIT rejected my application for a MS in the Department of Mechanical Engineering. That was kind of expected, as it was a dream school. I wish I had a better CGPA! Then one fine evening, I got an email from the graduate school of UIUC. I had been offered admission into the MS program in the department of Mechanical Science and Engineering with full tuition waiver and a monthly stipend of 2000$. It was a moment of success. Getting a scholarship for the MS program was difficult. However, by this time I was more inclined to join Schlumberger than go for a MS. I was of the opinion that going for a MS would plug my ways to come back to India, after I finished my course. Settling once in the American lifestyle, would probably make it impossible to make a U turn. And I was convinced that I didn’t want my children to grow up in America. So, I rejected the offer from UIUC. Ah yes, I haven’t heard from Purdue still. They haven’t offered me an admission, neither have denied it yet. :P

The lax attitude continued through out the semester. More time was spend on Orkut and Gtalk than ever before and playing cricket or cards sometime. Then there were wing treats to celebrate moments of success. I remember at one time, I was going on each single day for almost 1 whole week. It was time for end semester exams soon, and it went off quite okay. There were no expectations, from them. No mood to appear the exams at all! However, I managed to fare decent enough in the exams. I would be awarded the Department Silver medal for being the topper of Manufacturing Science and Engineering brnach with a final CGPA of 8.63

Then it all ended! The brilliant four years of my life came to an end when I left Kharagpur for my native place, Cuttack. Undoubtedly those were the best years during the most important phase of my growing up years. The friends I made are my most treasured possession. The moments I spent there are unforgettable. I have seen a great transformation in myself during these four years. From a shy fellow I have grown into a confident young man, ready to take on the challenges of life.

Thank you Indian Institute of Technology, Kharagpur.

Push the limits

Inspirational lectures by many eminent persons have made us acquainted with the line - "Push the limits". However, to me it is not just a mere line with use limited to writing award winning essays. To understand the real essence of this powerful statement, one needs to experience it. And after the mind boggling experience that you will have, you will truly understand what it is to "push the limits".

It was the week after the final examinations of my Btech degree. The project evaluation was to be held on the Friday of that week. And as any other IITian, I had done just a minor part of the entire work during the semester and hence had an enormous amount of work to be completed before my thesis could be ready, to be presented before the panel of three Professors who evaluate the project work.

Mine was an experimental piece of work. Work had to be done in the Mechanical engineering workshop and every time I had to rush to the department to carry out additional tests on the samples under study. The distance between the workshop and department, though not much, took atleast 3-4 mins by walk. Add to that, the running after the PhD assistant to get the work done in time and endure his whims and fancies(sometimes) and administrative constraints , actually makes it a tiring job.

:Monday:

9.30 am
Work had to be started by 9.30 am. But thanks to the careless attitude of the workshop technicians, it got delayed. After coaxing them with directives from my project guide, they finally decided to prepare the machine for use. By the time it was done, it was already lunch time. How do I explain them , I was running out of time !!! After all my project work was at their mercy.

2.30 pm
The machine was ready to be use, but some initial runs had to be made before I could start using it to produce useful results for my project. Time was running fast and I was getting tired and surprisingly restless. The PhD assistant asked me to come early the next day.

:Tuesday:

8.00 am
I woke up quite early by my standards. I was feeling feverish. Looked at my watch. I had to go to the workshop by 9.00 am. I had to !

9.10 am
Reached the workshop and started work. Had to spend time in the air-conditioned lab in the department testing my samples. With a terrible headache and an apparent feeling of weakness, I was conducting research. It was really testing my nerve under such physical conditions. But i had no choice. I had to do it. I had to !
In the workshop, I had to keep myself alert while I stood close to the spindle of the lathe running at 500 RPM. A little mistake, and it could turn out to be fatal. Apart from that, I had to be careful to get correct results. All this, while I was running high temperature and having this frustrating feeling to leave everything and just go away and lie down on my bed. But I could not. I had to stay there and back myself to finish the work. I had to !

12.30 pm
Came back to my room. I was running high fever by then. I was not in a position to work in the afternoon. Sat and re-planned my schedule to complete the project in time. I could afford taking rest for a while. Popped a medicine into my mouth and went to sleep. That was a much needed rest. I am glad i took it.

:Wednesday:

9.30 am
Thanx to Calpol, the fever was down. Though not in great shape, I was faintly fit to work. I reached the workshop and the work started yet again. The numerous to-and-fro between the workshop and the lab in the department began to hurt more than ever before. Legs were trembling, head was reeling under pain and there was this usual feverish weakness in the body. Yet i had to get the work done. I knew i had no alternative.
I did an appreciable amount of work. Not much was left for the afternoon session. And then, something struck me. I decided to do some additional tests ! I informed the professor and he gave the go-ahead. I sometimes wonder what came upon me to take such a decision. As if the fever and the time-crunch was not enough.

2.30 pm
Spent the afternoon finishing the tests. The work was almost over. Just a couple of tests to be done the next morning. And yes, I had still not recovered. The head was still heavy as if from a hangover and there was no sign of the body ache subsiding.

9.00 pm
Started writing my thesis, incorporating the results. Formatting MS Word could be really troublesome when you have a heavy head, running temperature and weakness in all parts of the body. Not to mention, the wish to leave everything and just lie down on the bed.

:Thursday:

9.30 am
I just had one day left to finish all tests, finish writing my thesis, show it and get corrected by my project guide and prepare the power point slides to be presented in front of the panel of Professors during the evaluation. I was hurrying through the lab, looking for the PhD assistant.
As luck would have it or say my carelessness, I fell down the stairs. As if I had not had enough, my right ankle got twisted.However, the work must continue. It had to !
I finished up the remaining tests with a feverish body and a crippled leg.

2.00 pm
Now started the never ending saga of writing the B.Tech thesis. It drained out all my energy. Sitting in front of the computer, continuously writing and formating seemed such an arduous task. It took the entire afternoon and the evening to get the thesis ready. By then, most shops had closed and had to rush to the Tech market to get the thesis printed. Luckily, a shop in my hostel did the spiral binding in the night, saving me from last minute rush next morning.

11.00 pm
Everything was not over yet. Tired hands, sleepy eyes and an exhausted mind had still some work to do.The power point slides could not be avoided. It was important! Setting aside all thoughts, I worked on the slides. It was done in about one and a half hours. Finally, my project work was complete and I went to sleep. Oh yes, not before I popped in another Calpol into my mouth.

:Friday:

10.00 am
It was my turn to present my project work. I did it and was happy with it.


They say- All is well that ends well. Rightly so. My B.Tech project taught me many things. Apart from the effect of surface pre-treatment on the adhesion of PVD coated TiN on WC inserts, I learnt something more significant. I understood the meaning of "push the limits" !

What is in a name ?

Google search suggests the definition of relationship as,

a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection)

So then why do we need a name ?
Why is it that we feel the need to know how are we connected to the person ?
Will a name have any effect on the nature of the relationship ?

A relationship signifies a bond, a feeling between two individuals. More often that not, it is a matter of choice. It is something which cannot be quantified. It is that emotion deep within you that tells you what the other individual means to you. Every relationship that we may think of, revolves around this central theme.

However, people name their relationships. And take pride in doing so ! When so many people are doing this, there must be something good about it too. Isn't it ? Whether its the bond between a father and son, between brothers, between a husband and his wife - the name originates from the needs and perhaps the rule of the society.

But still there are relationships, which are nameless. And its better that way ! Remember what google said about relationships ?

Moments

It was a hard day I said to myself as I entered my room. I was pretty tired and reclined on the chair. Naturally, my eyes closed. My thoughts drifted and took me away to a far far land.

I was standing on the edge of a cliff. Pretty high. It was almost dusk. I could watch the sea below. The sea appeared blue and stretched far into the distance, as far as I could see. The sound of the waves breaking against the rocky bottom on the cliff was distinct. The sky was crimson, with a streak of bright white light. Little birds flying in the distance appeared as black spots in the canvas of the sky. They were perhaps returning to their nest to feed their young ones. A strong cool breeze was blowing on my face. I could feel the force of the wind as I stood there. I spread my arms to feel the wind, as if I was hugging it. I was lost in the moment. So calm, so peaceful, so beautiful !

And so contrary !

What if ?

Some day in my life...

8:00 PM :

As usual I went to the mess with my friends to have food. The food served at IIT is awful, to say the least. So, we decided to go over to the adjacent canteen instead. My dinner consisted of a plate of butter maggi, one plate of bread-butter and two cups of hot ginger tea. While having food our discussions ranged from the recently concluded GATE examination to the biggest psycho amongst our friends.

8:45 PM :

I returned to my room. The computer was running and there was this gtalk chat window suggesting that a friend had messaged me while I was away. She was already offline. So just messaged her back and closed the chat. I had some important graphs to show to my B.Tech project guide. I thought it would be a better idea to complete the graphs first. So started with it.

11.20 PM :

Finally all the graphs were done. Origin Pro 7.5 helped me a lot ! I checked the gtalk list again . However, there wasnt anyone online who I thought would be a good company at that time. I had already watched two movies today. So sleeping was the only option !

The next day.....

7.20 AM :

I opened my eyes with great reluctance. I was inside a soft blanket. And felt that my hands were wrapped around someone. I was shocked ! That person was looking at the other side. As I tried to get up from bed in a haste, I had a look at that person. To my utter astonishment, I saw a woman ! A light green gown. Black long hair. Black eyes. Around 23. She was beautiful. She looked happy as if she was smiling in her sleep. I was terribly scared ! I had totally no clue about anything. I stood there looking at her, still thinking what had happened. I remembered that I had slept in my hostel room !!!

Where am i ? was the question running all over my mind.Suddenly she woke up. Rubbing her sleepy eyes she got up and rested against the back of the bed.

Good morning honey ! she said.

I did not know how to respond. I even did not know her. I had never met her in my life. But she seemed to recognize me well ! I stood there blank faced. Out of no where the words Good morning came out of my mouth. She smiled at me and got up from bed and walked towards the large mirror to her right. While she watched herself in the mirror, she asked me to get ready for breakfast.

I had no option !

I immediately went to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I was still trying to figure out the situation. From inside I could hear her quarreling with the mirror about her looks. Oh God ! these women !! was the thought that crossed my mind. But then Hey, who is this woman? I suddenly had this thought that, may be I was in a dream.

Pinched myself. Ouch !! It was real !

As I turned around, whoaaaa !!! Who is this ? I stared open-mouthed at the mirror. It was not me !!!! I examined the face closely. It was me, but I looked older!! And it was definitely not the same clothes I wore last night ! I started to panic now. What happened to me over a night ? How did I change so much ? How did I get to this place ? And who is this girl outside ?

Knock ! Knock !!! Open the door honey.

What should I do now ? What should I tell her ? Should I tell her that I do not even recognize her? How do I explain my situation to her ? Should I open the door or not ?

Yes, coming in a minute.

Be fast, you will get late for office was the reply.

Office !! God, what is happening here ? I did not know even what company I worked for.

8:25 AM :

I came out after sometime. There was no one in the room. I went to the wardrobe and picked some clothes. I was getting ready for office ! Suddenly I noticed something on a small rack on the wall. It was a photo frame.There I was, not alone though. She was there too. And we both were smiling. From what it seemed, she was my wife !!!

I could hear a mobile phone ringing at that instant. Looked around and found one lying besides the bed. Whose phone is it now ? I wondered it must be mine ! Picked it up.

My god! The mobile had the woman's picture as the wallpaper. And at the top-

08:25 AM 12-05-2012

I was in 2012 ! I could not believe my eyes. How could I be in 2012 ? It was only 2008 when I slept in my hostel room last night. I was in a trance. I was lost. The mobile was still ringing.

Are you there in the room ? The phone is ringing. Pick up the phone. I could hear my wife. That brought me back into the room.

Hello....

Hello Mr. Mishra, this is Saxena. I got to inform you about a sudden change in plan today. Instead of our office, we will be meeting the clients at their office. Be ready. I will come and pick you up in about 20-25 mins.

The mysterious Saxena hung up before I could ask him anything. I went out of the bedroom to find my wife at the dining table. She was preparing breakfast for her husband quite unaware of the fact that he had no clue when they got married ! Confused how to act in front of her, I put up a smiling face. As if she was the only one I ever knew since I was born on this planet.

Mr.Saxena arrived in 20 mins !

8:45 AM :

I said good bye to my wife and set off for the meeting with Mr. Saxena. While in the car Mr. Saxena said he wanted to discuss some issues about the meeting. I was still thinking about the 4 years that I lost in a night. Moreover, I did not have any inkling to what the meeting was about. I tried to avoid any discussion on it.

Oh Mr. Saxena I know you have worked hard on it. I am sure you have prepared quite well. Infact, I would also like to give you the opportunity to present this in front of our clients. Do not worry. I will be with you and back you up. But I am pretty sure, you would not need it.

There was a glow on this Saxena's face.

Really Mr. Mishra ?

Oh yes ! I am not kidding.

Thank god, I am saved. I thought to myself.

We reached the clients' office. Mr. Saxena took the lead in the presentation while I sat in the conference hall besides him, pretending to back him up. I was just praying for the meeting to end as soon as possible !

The meeting was a successful one. We clinched a good deal ! Mr. Saxena was ecstatic and thanked me for giving him that privilege. I humbly replied that he deserved it.

Mr.Mishra, lets take a break now. It was a good day ! I will drop you back at your home.
Yeah ! Thanks to you Mr. Saxena, we now have this contract !

Mr. Saxena dropped me at home.

4:10 PM :

My wife opened the door. I followed her to the living room.

So early today ?
Yeah the meeting wrapped up soon. Mr. Saxena was good ! ..............Can i get coffee ?
Oh sure, wait I will get it for you. Why dont you get fresh ? I will bring some snacks as well.
No, just get me coffee please.

4:25 PM :

She came back with 1 cup of coffee.

You not having ? I asked her.
No, I just had food sometime ago. Hey you have coffee, I was watching this nice culinary program. I will make you a special dish today !
Oh yeah, you watch !

I picked up the coffee mug and went to the window. The coffee had a nice aroma. She definitely likes to prepare good food - I wondered. And she loves me a lot too. As I looked out of the window and sipped the hot coffee, I tried to recollect the lost episodes of my life.

What about the last 4years ? What was I doing ? Why dont I remember anything about it ? I had no knowledge of anything that happened in those 4 years.

I had no clue about the last 4 years of my life !